Some More New Bikes

Fall is not only the time of the year that leads to Winter, it's also new bike season.  Now, I've written about some new-for-2013 bikes and I thought I'd do it again.  The problem is which one do I write about...

I could write about the Yamaha YZF-R1, which is essentially the same as the the 2011 version.  No, that would be too boring.

Sticking with Yamaha, there's the new YZF-R6.  It has all-new styling, more horsepower and a boatload of electronics for 2013.  I would write about its fancy technology if I was an engineer.  I'm not an engineer, however, so I don't find valve angle to be that interesting.

Moving across the hall to Kawasaki, we'll see a new ZX-6R Ninja to join the new 250.  It has some new stuff like more displacement, a slipper clutch and a 12 percent bigger airbox.  Did you know its new clutch hub is 600 grams lighter than the old one?  That's because the new one is made from aluminum and according to scientists, aluminum is lighter than steel.

No, the ZX-6R is too boring.  Let's see...

Okay, there's the Kawasaki Z800, which has some of the worst styling ever conceived by a designer.  It makes the Vetter Mystery Ship look good in comparison...The Honda CBR250R can be had in Respol colors...The MV Agusta Brutale 675 gets a special paint scheme...There are some new BMW F-Series bikes...There are a couple of new Harleys...'New' and 'Harley' in the same sentence; that's a joke...

No, this is all going wrong.  There has to be something worth writing about...

Oh, here it is: the Ducati Multistrada Pikes Peak.  There; that will work.

The Multistrada is Ducati's entry into the big trailie/touring bike segment.  Since it's a Ducati at heart, it's much more focused on conquering the Stelvio Pass than the Road of Bones.  I'm sure it can do some off-road stuff but then again so can anything if you really tried.  It seems like more of an on-road tourer to me.

The Pikes Peak version is meant to commemorate Ducati's 1-2 finish at this year's Pikes Peak Hill Climb.  The winning Multistrada, piloted by Carlin Dunne, set a new course record for motorcycles. 

The special edition gets Ducati Corse livery, a sports exhaust and some carbon fiber bits.  All 2013 Multistradas get new windshields, which are taller and wider than before.

The Multistrada is a strange bike.  It has a slightly detuned Testastretta engine, so it's very fast.  It has a whole bunch of electronic stuff like Skyhook adjustable suspension, Bosch ABS and four power mode settings.  It also has radial Brembo brakes and fat Pirelli tires like a sports bike.   

Stranger than its equipment is its styling.  It has the beak of an adventure bike but with an added twist: two inlets for the oil cooler.  This means the beak looks like a nose, literally.  Add in the twin headlamps, high handlebars and high mirrors and you get a bike that looks like a frightened gazelle.  It also has the tall seat of an adventure bike to go with the adventure bike crash bars and sump protectors.

Of course, the Multistrada was never a looker.  The old version had a gigantic single headlamp, which made the bike look like a cross between The Punisher's skull logo and some sort of strange fish.  It also didn't know whether it wanted to be an adventure bike, a touring bike or a sports bike.

The Multi's L-twin puts out 150 horsepower, which is very unadventure bike like.  That's more than the Triumph Tiger 1200 (135 hp), the KTM 990 Adventure (115 hp), the BMW R1200GS (110 hp) and the Yamaha Tenere 1200 (110 hp).  Only the KTM 1190 Adventure R can match it for power.  Torque on the 2013 is up to 91 ft/lb, a massive increase over last year's Multi.  So it looks strange like a proper adventure bike but it goes like a sports bike...

To further muddle things up, you can outfit it with saddle bags and a top case, just like a touring bike.  The windshield is also adjustable just like a proper touring bike and requires only one hand to do so.

Before you get excited to try this schizophrenic machine, there is the price to consider.  The base Multi without fancy suspension or ABS will set you back $17,000.  The S model, which adds the fancy suspension and the ABS, goes for $20,000.  Add another $2,000 and you can get a Pikes Peak model.  Add more, of course, for the full touring kit.

So what exactly is the Multistrada, then?  Is it an adventure bike, a sports bike or a touring bike?  I guess it's a mixture of all three; a jack of all trades, master of none.

You could call the Multistrada all things to all riders...Provided they're tall, of course.

Loaded out in touring mode, the Multi looks like it can take you anywhere.  The luggage looks huge and makes the bike look like a frightened gazelle that has been forced to double as a burro.  On the plus side, I bet you could fit a few illegals in the big bags.  That ought to help you make the monthly payments.

Turning Back the Clock

Call it trite but I have a soft spot for the BMW R1200GS.

I'm not really sure why because it's too heavy, too tall and too expensive for me to rationally decide to purchase one.  And like most modern German vehicular products, it has too many electronics for me.  I think BMW feels the need to put electronics everywhere because...You know, I really don't know why.  Maybe it's because they can and so professors in high-viz will continue to buy them.

But what really puts me off buying the GS is the styling.  It's a bit of a mess.  It tries to look butch and utilitarian but instead looks confused.

For starters, the headlamps are two different sizes and that's just odd.  Combining that with the beak-like protrusion makes the front of the bike look like a plague doctor's outfit.  Another thing I don't get is the beak, which I'm guessing is supposed to look like a motocross fender, and the tire-hugging front fender.  How many front fenders does one bike need?  There's also a bit of plastic hugging the rear tire.  Why?  Isn't that just going to pack with mud as you bound across Tajikistan?  Then there's the exhaust, which is enormous and mounted perilously low on a bike with off-road pretensions. 

So there it is: I like a bike that I don't like. 

Thanks to the Italians at Unit Garage, though, there is some hope for the GS after all.  For about 4,000 EUR, Unit will sell you a kit that transforms your GS from a confused styling mess into an R80GS replica.

Fans of the GS will know that the R80GS was possibly the original adventure touring bike.  In the early Eighties, BMW packed their reliable 798cc flat-twin lump into a new frame and drizzled the bike with off-road goodness, creating a whole new market.  Sure, dual purpose off-road/street bikes had been done before but not to this scale.  Within a few years, every manufacturer you can think of had an adventure bike in their lineup.  Thirty years on, the adventure market is one of motorcycling's largest.

What's nice about the R80GS' styling is its simplicity.  It had one round headlamp, a gas tank and a seat.  That's it.  There is only one front fender and no weird plastic thing hugging the rear wheel.  Better yet, the R80GS as a whole was simple.  It wasn't swimming in electronics like the new version.  It even still had carbs.  The bike was simple and that's what's important if you're going to build a bike intended to go where the road ends.

And Unit's kit captures this simplicity with stunning grace.  Leave it up the Italians to take something ugly and make it beautiful.  Everything that makes the new GS look like an ugly wart is replaced.  In its place is the stylistic simplicity that helped make the original GS such a ground-breaker. 

I think it's just fantastic.

This is a standard R1200GS Adventure and it looks terrible.  It looks like it weighs five million pounds and was designed by a group of people not in contact with each other.  

And this is the same bike with Unit Garage's replica kit on it.  As you can see, it looks much better.  All the function of the GS is retained but it's covered in a more-appealing shell.  My only complaint is that the front still looks like a plague doctor's outfit.  Options such as a Paris-Dakar-style flyscreen can be chosen and you can opt to retain the low front fender and lose the beak.  The weird plastic piece behind the rear wheel is still there, though.