Things I Hate About Motorcycling

I really enjoy riding a motorcycle.  I think that's evident by the content of this blog.

With that said, there are a few things that annoy me and a few things I generally hate about riding a motorcycle.  Since I'm a generous person and like sharing (stop laughing), I thought I'd share my top five annoying and hate-brewing things about motorcycling with you.  You're welcome.

Alright, here goes:

1. Riding in traffic - The cars are lined up for miles and there you are on your bike.  It's air-cooled, of course, so heat is wafting up, making things even hotter than it is.  The fumes from the cars are making Manfred Mann's lyrics make sense.   You look over at the car next to you: the people are lounging in air conditioned comfort and eating ice cream while you sweat in your black jacket, black gloves and black helmet.  Oh yeah, your bike is black, too.  Finally the traffic clears, you can get some air across the cylinders and you promptly get nabbed by a cop.  Damn.

2. Meeting another biker at a stoplight - Do you pull up next to him?  Did he move over intentionally?  Does he want to talk?  I can't hear him with my earplugs in so I'll just make hand gestures.  Does he think I'm mentally disturbed?  Does he think I'll want to race him?  Can I beat him if we do race?  All these questions and more flood your mind as you pull up to a light.  And when you come up with answers to all the questions, the light turns green, he pulls away oblivious to your existence and you're stuck with a line of angry car drivers behind you.

3. Wearing the gear - It's 90° F with 85% humidity outside and you want to go for a ride.  Okay, helmet, gloves, jacket, pants and boots on.  Sweating begins before you make it to the end of the driveway.  I'll make a quick run to the store, you think; it'll only take a few minutes.  Okay, helmet, gloves, jacket, pants and boots on.  Twenty minutes later, you leave for the store, which is just around the block.  It took you 20 minutes to gear up to take a 10 minute round trip.  Tired of the putting on all the gear, you decide to ride in a t-shirt and shorts like the Gixxer guys, which means you'll promptly hit a patch of oil and slide across all four lanes of the road.

4. The weather - Al Gore says the weather is changing but it's really staying the same: it rains while you're on your bike and is beautiful when you're not.  When's that big rain storm going to get here?  Just as you're about to leave.  Packing rain gear, though, is a guaranteed way of preventing rain from happening. Washing your bike guarantees a monsoon will happen as soon as you peek out the garage.

5. Getting stuck behind slow drivers - You're flying down your favorite back road and all is going well.  You're in the zone, concentrating as hard as you can and clipping every apex.  Valentino Rossi is behind you taking notes, you're so good of a rider.  You come around the bend, perfectly clip the apex, get ready to nail the throttle as you straighten up...and find yourself stuck behind grandma Ethel on her way to bingo. 

Her 1995 Buick Skylark hasn't been above 25 mph since the lot attendant first filled it with gas 17 years ago.  And there you are, Aprilia RSV4, full Dainese race suit and aching arms, on the slow boat to China.  You may as well enjoy the scenery because you know the bingo hall is right by your house, this is the only road to get there and cops magically appear if you cross the double yellow.